Mankind

Neanderthaler wih my BikeI know, that some of you know how hard it is to be perfect man for the job. The perfect father, the perfect husband, the perfect employee or the perfect friend. The ultimate Mr Icon. Even at those times when you wish you shouldn't be such an asshole and learn to live your big time guy-life, and even at these times you wish, there were an escape nearby, the secret revealing door leading to your own Darth Vader. To your darkest side, where you could drink beer, play the Wii and fart loudly all day so that you and your buddies can laugh about it.

This is our destiny, our Mission for life. We are destined to be perfect. We, men. Not only because the opposite sex has something they can compare themselves to, but also because we define the word "ambition" with our mere existence. We embody ambition. We race cars at streetlights, we beat each other on girls, we pee at stand, we eat chicken with our hands and yes, we snore and pick noses.

We love to be called an asshole and love to behave as such! Even our leaders share this love!

*In 2000, during a Labor Day event, then candidate George W. Bush made an off-hand remark to his running mate, Dick Cheney, that New York Times reporter Adam Clymer was a "major league asshole." The gaffe was caught on mic and led to a political ad chiding Bush for "using expletives... in front of a crowd of families," produced for Democratic opponent Al Gore.

Let's face it, we gave our women no room to be anything else but intelligent. And this, with no corresponding facts to scientifically prove my allegations, most probably, which would prevent an official ceremony for my dearest apologies from the (hu)man race, expressing my profound condolences.

No, not all men are religious fanatics with long beards burning any red-blue-white flag combinations. Not all of us have tattoos on our arms or else where, not all of us smoke pot or wrestle arms. To our credit though, we are at least brave (or lucky) enough to (be able to) ignore all this fascinating diversity and the fortunes of being a true man and thus concentrate on the most common animal instincts "gently" described above. These are true legacies of our encisters, apparently of the Neanderthaler or even of Mr Gorilla! We are damn complicated, if you like it or not and, oh yes, we are hairy too.

This is why, there has never been a Mrs/Ms Right, he has always been Mr Right (even in "Sex in the City") and Catwoman was a huge flop whereas Batman the all-time cult hero.

So, if Spore™ is your proof for your evolution theory and Wikipedia your new Brittanica, then I insist, that you accept that we, the men, are very well legitimized to define the word "perfection" as we wish. Otherwise, I will "cut your balls off!", a common masculine expression warning tenderly against any disagreement.

I told you, this is not an easy job! And, uhm, please pardon my french.